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Writer's pictureJ.D. King

How to End the War Between Husbands and Wives



Egregious things transpired in the Garden of Eden centuries ago. Sin ensnared the world—undermining the beauty and purposes of God. I don’t think that most people comprehend all that unraveled.


When God spoke to the woman after the fall, He revealed that there was now an inherent conflict between her and her husband. He said, “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16).


The ravages of sin had sparked a tragic war in the home. People who pledged to love each other would ultimately discover deep conflict and contention. What is implied in this passage is that, throughout history, wives will endeavor to control, but—because of their husband’s brute strength and temperament—they will not prevail. In many cases, men will take advantage of circumstances in terribly self-centered ways.


An honest perusal of history confirms that women have often been marginalized and exploited. This was never God’s intention. This was the tragic outworking of deception and sin—not the purposes of the Lord.


Whispers of Deliverance


Moreover, within this broader narrative, there are whispers of deliverance. There are subtle allusions to how peace could be found—if one cares to look.


Delving a little deeper, there are underlying redemptive strategies in God's interchange with Adam. He says: “You will be toiling all your life. The ground will sprout thorns and weeds, you will have get your food the hard way, planting and tilling and harvesting, sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk” (Genesis 3:17-19).


It's easy to overlook what's actually being articulated. Most interpret this passage to mean that—because of the curse—men will have to agonize and travail to bring home a paycheck. The Bible is saying much more than this. What the inspired text is suggesting is that men are uniquely positioned to take on the difficulties and conflicts of life. Because of their physical stature and temperament, men are able to carry duress and problems.


Instead of exerting anger and violence, a righteous man "swallows it up" in acts of sacrificial love. In other words, a man allows himself to be a suffering servant for his family. He becomes a flawed reflection—but a reflection nonetheless—of the Messiah.


From the moment sin entered, conflict brewed in the home. But God also revealed a path to peace, a path that might be closer than we think. In choosing sacrificial love over selfish ambition, our homes can be restored.




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